A Reflection
Sep 28, 2008, 3:23p
"I sometimes ask myself, how did it come that I was the one to develop the Theory of Relativity? The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think abour problems of space and time. These are things which he has thought of as a child. But my intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which ... more »
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Why I won't vote, and why I will give more to charity
Sep 27, 2008, 11:43a
I'm not going to vote in this upcoming election. I am not registered to vote, and I don't plan on registering. This may come as hearsay, and who am I to avoid the controversial, so on with the explanation.
I don't like either of the candidates. They both feel like fake people to me, almost people without minds of their ... more »
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omar
- Sep 27, 2008, 10:26p
nikhil,
you sound like ron paul, in some ways. i remember reading an interview with ron paul where he said something like "if your neighbor is polluting your area, then you go and talk to your neighbor and work it out, and use the courts to deal with it."
naive.
especially in this globalized world, where pollution/green house gases need to be dealt with globally.
there's one area where you need federal commitments.
now, onto healthcare. this country needs a federal mandate that everyone should be insured. it's ridiculous right now that healthcare, for most people, is tied to their employer.. and buying individual healthcare for oneself is just too expense. i suppose local communities could band together to provide healthcare for their residents (something SF is trying to do) but i really think that you only get reasonable
on obama's finance plan: you should read about where he plans to get the money for his spending initiatives. he isn't proposing spending more without taking in more, though tax receipts will almost certainly be lower this year so of course there will be issues.
on the bailout: it's too simple to see this as a blank cheque for wall street. unfortunately, if people/companies can't get credit, then the economy is going to stall. right now, banks aren't doing much lending. money markets aren't buying up short term issues from companies. these are issues that go beyond the wall street cronies, who are nevertheless partly to blame (as are people on main street for taking up these ridiculous mortgages, the people who sold them, the politicians who got rid of regulations, the regulators who didn't regulate, etc..). of course, i don't think we have an example of a modern financial crisis like this where the government didn't really step in, so it's hard to know what would happen if they didn't do anything, but i don't think we want to engage in that experiment. right now it's about getting the terms right -- for instance, if taxpayers are bailing out these companies, they better get some sort of equity stake.
as to your bigger point: i can understand your frustration with the candidates. i feel the same way. they both seem like poor options in my mind.. and they certainly are playing the political game -- there's no change in washington.
it's a frustrating time.
btw i'll be in cambridge starting 10/6 or so.
Knowledge
Aug 28, 2008, 10:16a
I've come to realize something. For much of my previous life, I read for enlightenment. I believed that, somewhere out there, someone knew a truth that would be exactly what I was looking for, would satisfy the search and change my life. I believed that there was a "lost" truth, hidden in the wilderness, discovered long ago but since forgotten; ... more »
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Leggett
- Aug 29, 2008, 7:53a
Makes plenty of sense Nikhil... thanks for sharing.
omar
- Aug 30, 2008, 2:46a
makes no sense nikhil, but when are you coming out to sf so we can go drinkin!
woo
;)
add "friends" to that love, children, family paren, and then start enjoyin your friends and bloggin less.
and start droppin ur 'g's
I Know You
Jun 22, 2008, 11:10a
Off the train, riding the escalator, reading my PCR.
An older guy, maybe 5' 5", playing his harmonica. Glance up, then back to my PCR. Make eye contact, he stops playing.
"I know you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I know where you're from."
"Where am I from?"
"Syria."
"Nope."
"Where are ya from?"
We get on the second escalator, side-by-side.
"Guess ... more »
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Garry
- Jul 6, 2008, 11:25a
I really enjoyed this. There's something about conversational style writing like this that is always incredibly approachable.
Anonymous
- Jul 9, 2008, 1:29p
this is the best thing i've read in a while. seriously.
sam
- Jul 9, 2008, 1:30p
i am additionally impressed by your ability to remember that whole conversation (what i am assuming is) pretty much word for word.
nikhil
- Jul 9, 2008, 2:59p
yeah, I'm sure the conversation above is not super-accurate, but it was such an unusual conversation that i immediately started playing it back in my head when it was over.
Anonymous
- Jul 25, 2008, 10:25a
I felt like i was right there, thanks for sharing. I like how you asked him what do you do and he said, I'm a Greek Macedonian. There's some hilarious truth to that statement.
Harpoon
- Jul 25, 2008, 10:39a
The anonymous comment above is by Harpoon (just in case any Greek Macedonians want to join with any Aramean Syrians ;)
Brave New Mescaline
Jun 14, 2008, 3:14p
I just finished reading Aldous Huxley's double-book, "The Doors of Perception" and "Heaven and Hell." It was a welcome break from all the academic papers I've been reading lately. Basically, the book is about Huxley's experiments with mescaline (also known as peyote) in the 1950s. Mescaline is a drug that is known to cause vibrant hallucinations for up to 10 ... more »
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What Now
May 26, 2008, 1:24a
(Written on Jan 13, 2008, after getting back to MIT after Christmas)
What now - I don't know what I'm doing. Somehow I left my desire somewhere, and now I cannot find it. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by distractions, but that's not quite right. I go through moments where I don't live in the present because it's moving too fast, ... more »
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george
- Jun 11, 2008, 12:45p
you are trying to hold and understand everything way to tight.
Buddy, you have got to just lighten up.
Could I make a simple suggestion?
Quit looking for some reason, ideal or whatever. Quit thinking so dern much!!!
Its time to just grind. Go towards the finish line for whatever that may be, graduate school completion....whatever.
and quit trying to figure out the why.
Trust me.
You want to know the answer to all the mystery. The answer "thinking man" is so simple I don't know if you'll ever stop to understand it instead of trying to analyze it.
The whole silly thing, creation, being, conciousness, human condition is all so simple. Its about family.
Love
the thing that God breathed into us that no other beast on the planet has.
Thats it, whole nine yards.
Everything else just is.
When you hold your first child, you will understand, when you fully understand what it means to not be first in any way, shape or form. That someone on the planet comes before you, your thoughts, your creative philosophical ramblings, every single time until they are no longer a cub.
You probably know it in a fashion with your mate, but you hold something back for you.
walk up to your home in the still of the night (winter is best), look through the window and see what you hold dear. That my friend is what it is ALL about. If there is no one in there?
Then you have something to dwell on.
Good luck my friend
Harpoon
- Jul 25, 2008, 9:42a
If you want to ask me, you should practice Taiji, or more contemplative forms of motion. The exercise of focusing intently on following a physical pattern, i.e. no competitive or cognitive objective like traditional sports. It may sound ridiculous but the simple act of moving yourself through space will, through dedication, become a processes of renewal for you. I know it sounds like indoctrinated hogwash, but, then why does one assume that something seeming so simple such as relaxing should come so easily? It's a skill that takes a while to master, 2 - 3 years you can get some hang of it. Standing meditation is also an important exercise - it seems utterly futile to most people at first, but there is something going on worth studying. I believe if you want to study consciousness then why not keep a log and try to conduct experiments of such claims to compare with your own claims of "method to remove distractions"
Trading Consciousness
May 24, 2008, 9:05a
(Written on Dec 13, 2007, after finishing my first semester @ MIT, on the plane ride from Boston to LA)
To be productive, or not? That is the question.
Each of us has been blessed with the opportunity to *feel*, yet we so often act like machines, churning out productivity with the utmost efficiency. At least I feel that way ... more »
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Garry
- May 25, 2008, 2:53p
What's your opinion of Csíkszentmihályi's work around flow? He seems to posit that perhaps flow is a desirable / good state, one that brings us a step closer to self actualization. But is that the same thing that you experience when studying hard or working hard, when consciousness gets traded?
nikhil
- May 26, 2008, 12:13a
I read his "Flow" book a few years ago, but I think what I experience when studying is something a bit different.
What I experience is an absence.
You may experience something similar when you're giving a presentation. Esp. if you're a little nervous and you've practiced a lot, once you get into the preso, you may have a feeling that your words and movements are not in your control. Afterwards, you may even feel like you've "blacked out", because you have very little memory of exactly what you said and did. It just goes by in a blur, and like that <snap> it's over.
I think of flow as a different state, one where your level of perception and awareness is quite high, perhaps even peaking, while you're working or doing something else that has a clear path ahead. My problem sets often don't have a clear path ahead, instead being shots in the dark that hopefully eventually hit. So no, I wouldn't describe it as flow.
Flow may be a good state. But since it seems to require a clear path (in my experience), I question whether it's not just the easy road ahead. Perhaps shots in the dark, while uncomfortable and risky, are a better/more exciting/more unpredictable/higher pay-off, though rougher, avenue through the wilderness. But, depending on your persuasion, maybe such avenues are better avoided...
neha
- May 30, 2008, 4:04p
how are things going now, nikhil? i think many grad students struggle with the balance of the rat race (need to have concrete accomplishments) and free time to think and explore. maybe you just need to find the way you work best -- if i left myself to go at my own pace, i wouldn't get anything done :) i've realized after the fact that when i've learned the most is when i felt like i was running on a hamster wheel. sometimes it's not a bad thing.
george
- Jun 11, 2008, 12:24p
simplify,
problem is that when you look at things in an intellectual state, you are looking to solve something that may not be a mystery.
You've sat alone in the dessert, you already have the understanding and knowledge of what you seek. You have known conciousness.
Don't lose the forest because can't see past the trees.
Harpoon
- Jul 25, 2008, 10:16a
I think you hit the nail on the head toward the end - Do you want to study consciousness or do you want to experience it? Perhaps to experience, we have to give up on studying it in a lab, and vice versa.
My rather unscientific views on consciousness are that you can only go a very short distance to study it in a lab, you can only pinpoint where it isn't. The brain is a physical object with physical properties and consciousness is metaphysical. That is to say even after you have fully documented neurons and their phenomena, you won't ever be able to describe in mathematic, linguistic, or biological terms something purely conceptual such as "love" , "pleasure" , or "suffering". It's like poking through the software for a game with a hex editor, and trying to locate where the "fun" is.
Furthermore, what if consciousness exists not as a process of the brain, but as function of interactions between individual and society? How can you ever hope to control what the environment has done to your subject, in a lab setting?
Death
May 22, 2008, 8:06p
(I wrote this on May 24, 2007. It may sound suicidal, but don't worry, I wasn't. For the past year I've debated with myself whether I should post this. With summer imminent and time for blogging back again, it seems only right to post some things I've written that have been sitting on the edge. A few more back-dated posts ... more »
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The Beginning of Survival School
Aug 12, 2007, 3:04p
For people who visit this blog in a web browser and want to read my survival school journal from the beginning (instead of in reverse), here's a quick link: Day 0 of Survival School. Enjoy.
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Survival School: Day 28
Aug 11, 2007, 10:41p
Final Day
Woke up early, only ~5 hours of sleep. Steve came, & rushed us into the van. No idea where we were going. No sign yet of 2nd 28-day group [there were 2 separate troops who did variants of the 28-day course @ the same time - I was expecting to see them back at BOSS HQ too]. Drove ... more »
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george
- Jun 11, 2008, 12:14p
you have your priorities in order.
Life will be sweet.
Note - when we came in from final challenge hike, had quick gathering then straight on bus for Provo. They did stop for us in a grocery in the first town we hit, I think it was Boulder. LOL, our group was I think 36 total, turned loose in a grocery straight from the dessert. It was a sight, what those folks must have thought with such a band of stinking dessert refugees in awe, laughing and crying as we took it all in.
I don't think we had near the food rations you did. I am speculating about half from what I could calculate.
I went through in 1980 I think it was, may have been '79. Only pooped once at beginning.
They would issue seven squares of TP each week. I finished with mine.
But you had the full experience physically and mentally I believe, except for near death from thirst, and I don't wish that one on anybody, but boy it still leaves a mark. Wife still doesn't understand why I don't throw out old water in bottles, cups, etc. :-) says I'll drink anything.
well has been wonderful getting to know you. MAy your path be smooth and all down hill.
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