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28 Days of Survival Food: Day 16
Aug 9, 2010, 11:08a - Life

Well this is going swimmingly. The past 4 days have been a time of feast. I bought a lamb shank from the local butcher (McKinnon's) on day 12, and have been eating from it for the past 4 days, ending last night with homemade lamb tamales. I ate way too much though (8 small tamales compared to the 2 and a half I had in survival school), but hopefully it won't screw up my experiment. I've skipped at least 2 other meals, so maybe this just brings me up to even. The next 2 days are a no-food fast, and after that I've got nothing but lentils and quinoa to fill my belly. The end is in sight!

I'm a little concerned that this whole thing may fail and I won't experience the food portion of X in the end. I've been feeling this way because the great things I've got to eat in the last few days (soda bread and lamb to name a couple) haven't actually tasted that good. In fact, I still find them very unsatisfying (which partially explains why I ate so many tamales last night, that and they would've been thrown out if I hadn't). This is similar to my pre-experiment position to food. Unless something magical happens in the next 12 days, I'm not sure I'll have any bit of food X when I come out.

I also haven't had any spiritual epiphanies during this time, which I had on survival school. Maybe it's because I've already had them (it's a one-shot kind of thing), or maybe it's because the minimal food is insufficient to induce the spiritual realization.

I have become obsessed with cooking (similar to survival school). I've started promising myself that after this is done, I'll cook at least one thjng every night (dinner or a side or a desert), trying something new from the recipe gods. I've also started subscribing to a couple "recipe-of-the-day" lists. Epicurious certainly has some gorgeous deserts I'm looking forward to.

Of course, that would require I make the time for it. I think 2 hours is a good estimate of the amount of time it would take. That's 2 less hours of something else (I guess lab work?), but at this point I think I'm willing to make that trade. Though that may be because I haven't found my lab work so interesting for the last couple of months...

Hopefully my splurge last night won't fuck things up. That would be a shame, this far in and then screwing the whole thing up.

When I think that this experiment won't work, I'm drawn to the source of it all. As a scientist, the best way to know whether something reproduces is to try it again (duh). Instead of these half-assed experiments (4-days in Yosemite survival-style, 28 days of survival food) maybe I just have to suck it up and go back to survival school. I have to know whether it's a one-time only event, or something that I can experience multiple times. Jessica says that feels it each time she goes and comes back, but maybe our notions of X are different, and even if it's the same maybe we're just different people. If this experiment fails, maybe I'll be signing up for survival school round 2 come next summer...

Read comments (3) - Comment

omar - Aug 9, 2010, 8:52a
or maybe you can accept that you may never feel X again, but you move forward and you'll feel Y, which is part of you growing into the next you.

dude i'm at Z. get on the bus.

Charlene - Aug 10, 2010, 3:34p
You are definitely a "seeker!"
Looking forward to hearing about the "results." I appreciate Omar's comment and ask, "What's after Z??"
My experience is that transformation occurrs when I'm least expecting it... and when 'trying' to recreate a similar, let alone exact, experience I'm way too much in my head to have even a glimmer of it.
I believe efforting can be self defeating in the "X" feeling department....
Be gentle with your body it is the only one ya got, this time around!
Love being part of your journey!!

Jessica - Aug 13, 2010, 8:03a
I am in the BOSS trailer and we are all reading this together and discussing X.

Jeff the field director says he experiences "X" every time he comes back from the field. Jesse (head instructor) thinks you should take the Hunter Gatherer course. He and I both agree this is the most extreme experiencing of X upon return, but Jesse says he experiences X every time he returns from the field.

My head instructor Laurel, goddess of making students suffer is sitting next to me as I type.

"I want him on my course next year. Trust me. He'll experience X."

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