Book Notes - Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People
Dec 19, 2004, 11:09p
Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends & Influence People
I highly recommend this book to everyone. It's one of the top 5 books I've read in the past year. I've already used his advice numerous times in my dealings with people, and found that I'm already more effective at encouraging people to get things done (though I still have a long way to go). Below are the basic principles, though it's the example stories that he gives in the book that are most convincing. Numerous times I found myself smiling after reading one of his anecdotes, thinking, "Damn, that was clever and brilliant."
Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1) Don't criticize
2) Praise
3) Arouse desire
Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You
1) Be genuinely interested in people
2) Smile
3) Remember names
4) Listen intently
5) Talk to your audience's interests
6) Make them feel important
Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1) Avoid argument
2) Never say "you're wrong"
3) When you're wrong, admit it
4) Begin in a friendly way
5) Get the person saying "yes, yes"
6) Let the other person do the talking
7) Let the other person think the idea is hers
8) See things from the other person's point-of-view
9) Be sympathetic to the other person's ideas & desires
10) Appeal to nobler motives
11) Dramatize your ideas
12) Throw down a challenge / encourage competition
Part 4: Be a Leader
1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2) Provide negative feedback indirectly
3) Talk about your mistakes before criticizing
4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5) Let the other person save face
6) Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"
7) Give the other person a reputation to live up to
8) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
9) Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest
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